


Please Don't Hurt Me / I'm Not Going To Hurt You

by river1983



Series: Tumblr Collections [13]
Category: Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I can't tag oof, M/M, Mentions of Violence, Post S4, slightly OOC, sorry :(
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:14:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23473051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/river1983/pseuds/river1983
Summary: “Please don’t hurt me.”“I’m not gonna hurt you.”--The lingering effects of S4 trauma.Prompt by hellsdemonictrinity on tumblr
Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson
Series: Tumblr Collections [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1454404
Kudos: 43





	Please Don't Hurt Me / I'm Not Going To Hurt You

Sometimes, after a tantrum from Sherlock, or a quarrel about some small thing, John moves a little too fast and Sherlock flinches, just barely. A louder slam of a door or a tiny little raise of voice from the ex-soldier has Sherlock scrambling up from his chair or freezing where he was. A small touch from his friend has Sherlock’s muscles tensing, like a reflex. He hates it, hates that he has such a human reaction to something so small. He knows _why_ , of course, but he hates that his body betrays him when he was the one who _caused_ John to hit him.

John notices it, of course, and Sherlock knows he’s suspicious, but he says nothing. They fell back into a routine; solving cases, annoying each other, the two of them against the world. Sherlock notices John’s sadness, but it was not as prominent as it once was. He spends time with Rosie, who Sherlock had grown to adore. It was hard not to when she reminded him so much of John.

They don’t speak about the events of the Final Problem.

\--

A month later, Sherlock gets hurt pretty badly during a case--a collapsed lung, a few broken ribs, and a dislocated shoulder. John reaches for Sherlock, attempting to help because he needs to be _useful_ , and Sherlock pulls away. John retracts his hand, a look of hurt flashing on his face. Sherlock hates it, but he can’t help it. He can’t help but think of John’s fist colliding into his nose at the mortuary.

“Sherlock?” John says softly.

“Just...call an ambulance, John. Please.” Sherlock rasped.

Sherlock never pleads. John swallows his words and phones the hospital.

\--

“Damn it, Sherlock!” John yells. “You could’ve gotten hurt! You could’ve been _killed_ , for god's sake. You should’ve called me! But no, your ego wouldn’t let you! I don’t even know how I--” He turns angrily, facing Sherlock, and immediately stops.

Sherlock is curled in the corner of the room, far away from John, _trembling_. There are traces of tears on his cheeks. 

“Please don’t hurt me.” He whimpers. Sherlock hates the words of weakness that trickle from his lips, _loathes_ the fear coursing through his veins.

“Oh, shit. Oh, Sherlock.” John says softly, guilt smacking him in the face. He tentatively steps towards Sherlock, who flinches and curls inward more in response. He kneels down slowly, gently pulling Sherlock’s hands from around his face. 

“I’m not going to hurt you, Sherlock.”

Sherlock rubs his face with his hands, sighing deeply. “I’m sorry. This is...this is stupid.”

“No, _I’m_ stupid. God, I didn’t even think--” John sighs. “You don’t need to be sorry, Sherlock. I should be. The time--after Mary...I was unfair to you.”

Sherlock shakes his head. “It was my fault. _My_ life she saved.”

“That she chose to save, Sherlock. It’s not your fault, it’s not anyone’s fault. It just...” He smiles sadly. “It is what it is.”

Sherlock doesn’t respond, so John lifts Sherlock’s chin up. “Are you okay?”

The detective nods. “I apologize. That was uncalled for and--”

John rolls his eyes and kisses the consulting detective. Sherlock’s eyes widen and his brain short circuits. He pulls away and Sherlock is left staring. 

“That’s one apology. I owe you many more.” John says as he walks back to his room.


End file.
